Fun with Cell Phones

I have well documented issues with power tools.  The bane of John’s existence seems to be cell phones.  Misplacing his phone and expecting me to help him find it is mildly irritating.  Not answering it when I call is a bit higher on the annoy-o-meter and makes me question why we pay for service each month.  However, taking it for a swim pushes me over the edge!  Now before you say, “Come on, that can happen to anyone,” let me say that I agree whole-heartedly with that statement.  However, I have to draw the line when it happens for the FOURTH time.

The first two times he took his cell phone for a dip I was pretty understanding as he was trying to save a drowning dog.  By the way, he is one for one in that department.  Well, actually two for three, but one of the two dogs he saved fell through the ice near the pond bank so he didn’t actually have to get in the water to pull her out.  The urgent nature of those situations made not emptying his pockets understandable, but that history alone would cause most people to do a quick mental inventory of pocket contents before taking the plunge.  Please note the use of the words “most people” as previous blogs have established John in a category he alone inhabits!  The other two telecom disasters have resulted from wading in the water to fish without emptying his pockets.

His most recent escapade occurred on a trip to Corpus Christi last week to do some ocean fishing.  He called me on his friend’s cell phone to tell me his phone had “quit working.”  When pressed for details about the phone’s demise, he reluctantly admitted what he’d done.  I didn’t say much, but I’m sure he could hear the incredulous tone in my voice as I asked how he could have possibly drowned his phone…AGAIN!! His only defense was that it had been over a year since the last time he’d put a phone in the drink. That flimsy excuse really didn’t need a response, but I did remind him that I’d owned a cell phone the same amount of time he had and so far I had managed to avoid a submersion. He replied that I always had on a swimming suit when I went in the water, and they didn’t have pockets. Yeah, that’s the main difference between his experiences and mine–no pockets!

When he got home a few days later, he remembered a detail that he felt gave him full vindication–cell phone insurance. He wasn’t positive he’d taken out coverage, but he thought given his track record, it would be a logical thing to do. He called me from the cell phone store this morning with what I thought was a bizarre question, but I’m sure to him there was some ambiguity about the proper course of action. He did have cell phone insurance that would replace his existing phone without charge, or he could spend $100 and upgrade to a water resistant model. He shared the information questioningly, as if I had a decision to make. I asked him how much the insurance was a month. He said we had been paying $5 for the last 18 months. I asked him how spending $90 on insurance and then not using it to get the phone replaced made any sense. That would make the new phone cost $190 rather than the $90 we had already spent on the insurance. I suggested that he use the insurance to get his existing phone replaced, drop the insurance coverage, and upgrade to a water resistant phone the next time his gets dunked. The really sad thing is that he didn’t argue with me and say there wouldn’t be a NEXT time because we all love to have fun with cell phones!

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