Baring It All

towelI have a friend who is a nudist.  I don’t mean the “run from the shower wrapped in a towel to get clean underwear from the dryer” kind of nudist.  She is a “never wears clothes around the house unless company is coming” kind of nudist.  Since we both live in the country in fairly isolated spots, she often expresses her surprise that I don’t embrace that lifestyle as well.  I told her I tried it one time, but I made the mistake of going outside, and we didn’t see the dogs for three days.  She thought I was kidding.  I’m not a prude by any means, and I believe we are all beautiful in our own way, but some of us are definitely more beautiful than others, especially sans clothing.  However, a recent experience taught me that sometimes your best option is baring it all.

John and I live on an old sandpit so our house is surrounded by three ponds that formed when the excavated spots were abandoned.  Since we have this resource, we pump water from the ponds to irrigate our lawn, fruit trees, and garden.  Every spring we have the obligatory pump priming and leak repairs that have to occur to get the water where it needs to go in an efficient manner.  John had finished the pump priming and was beginning to make the rounds to patch leaks and put sprinklers on running hoses when a neighbor drove in with an urgent request.  He needed to have some planting done, and since rain was in the forecast for the following day, he was hoping John could get started immediately.

Of course John agreed to help which meant I was now in charge of irrigation patrol.  The first two spots were easy because I was working with flexible garden hose that could be kinked to stop the flow of water so attaching a sprinkler was simple.  Unfortunately, when I got to the end of the irrigation system, the water was gushing out of an inflexible piece of black plastic pipe.  As I wondered to myself why John started the pump BEFORE he checked the line, my options became clear.  Shutting off the pump was the only way I was going to get the sprinkler attached without getting soaked, but I would run the risk that I couldn’t get it started again.  Going to the house to put on a swimming suit was an option, but that would involve a lengthy walk both ways, and I still had a lot of work to do.  The last option seemed the most logical so I decided to take off my clothes and hoped this wasn’t the day the rural electric cooperative was sending out the meter reader.

I hung my clothes on the branch of an apple tree and cast an occasional glance up the hill toward the house as I was drenched in a fine mist that sprayed, first from the connection point, and then from the sprinkler itself.  Once the sprinkler was in place, I dried quickly from the breeze, but I wasn’t in a hurry to get dressed.  The sun and the wind felt pretty good on my skin, and even if the meter reader drove by, the chances of ever seeing him again were remote, and he’d have an interesting story to share back at the office about the crazy woman running naked through the orchard.  I’m not saying the experience converted me to the nudist life style, but it did give me some insight into what might make it attractive for some.  I told John next year he’d better check all the connections before starting the pump or he will be the one baring it all.

One Response to “Baring It All”

  1. Pat Willems says:

    I told Dennis, as we were in your neighborhood yesterday, that I was sure this was your place when we saw someone putting their clothes on a tree branch! We were right behind the meter reader, the mailman and several other vehicles driving very slow!!!

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